Man, this may be the most accurate portrayal of school college. When I use to play the “you only get 2 games” I always got fustrated because I could never decide which I wanted. Yet here I am , again always stuck trying to decide between the three. Could this have been the source of my recent frustrations?
Maybe, but chances are it has more to do with these 4 major classes I am taking and trying to stay afloat in. Whatever the reason , it all leads back to this triangle. There has been a lack of consistency on my part this semester. At times, I’ve laid under the covers and said “rest!” then only but a few times, I have decided to go out and party and or drink(soda) all night long. Truest in its location however right at the top, hanging over my head has been the reminder that I want those great grades (not good). At times this has meant I went beast. Just running all around, staying up till all times of night, making a home of the library. Mostly though I have stressed myself to miserable levels and abandoned my promise to self to make sure I am taking time to enjoy life a little.
The sad truth (to me at least) about this triangle is that there is no one right way to approach it. In my eyes there is only room for one other choice. Getting good grades are not an option, nor should it be optional . But again to each their own, “Live let Live”. This leaves the conundrum of choosing between sleep and social life. For a couple of weeks I decided to choose sleep but that did me no good. It left me tense and ready to blow over like a pressure cooker. You see if you do what is required of you academically, you owe it to yourself to take a few moments if not hours to just enjoy the simpler or more carefree parts of life. Beware however it comes with a price, that price being precious time outside of your twin size bed and head under the covers.
So I guess there is no way to truly win or to come out successful is there? I’m lost and still trying to figure it out. Maybe you have the answer though. If so , don’t act stingy share it with the rest of the world!!! Me 0_0!
Putting aside the Macho Man ego for a minute. I must admit something crazy…that I am going to be homesick come this fall. Which is beyond crazy to me . It’s a very weird and off-putting feeling. What is so puzzling to me about this feeling of homesickness is that I’ve already experienced “going away” and when I did I was 18 and big eyed. In my very first semester my freshman year I could count on one hand the amount of times I went home. Twice! Once for Thanksgiving and again for Winter Break. That’s it! Even on holiday weekends where we had to go home. I usually found myself at a friend’s school just to avoid the trip home.
My oh my has time changed! I now find myself sitting on the steps with my friends saying “mannnnnn I’m gone miss my city” its true these lights will inspire you and they have! A lot has changed from that 18-year-old time of avoiding home; to being placed in a situation where I had to come home to gather myself and get the ground beneath me. In that time I’ve come to fall in love with my city. Added to that, my older sister lives in Queens and although I didn’t see her everyday she has been my confidant, best friend and biggest supporter. So going 5 hours away from her is a little sobering. Also she is having her first baby, which makes her a first time mother but also makes me a first time uncle (Woot woot!). I’m already preparing (if its a girl I gotta save up to buy the pony, if its a boy 3 things he must learn fresh out the womb: Duke Blue Devils, Kanye is a Musical Genius and Kobe …unstoppable).
Don’t get me wrong In no way am I indecisive as to whether I want to be in Oswego or not. That’s a lock I’d leave tomorrow if money and responsibilities permitted. But its just odd for me to have this feeling. You would think that after 2 years of wanting to be in this position and having worked as hard as I have to get to this point I would be screaming Good Riddance at the top of my lungs.
What’s my remedied chicken noodle soup for this homesickness? Its simple and its advice you’ve probably received before. Get involved. Having experienced first hand at my previous school. I can attest to the fact that when you’re involved it builds a greater sense of connection not only to the school and campus but it extends to the whole community as well. Most of the friends you have will either come through your involvement in campus activities and clubs or they will join you in those interests. Don’t believe me? Just look at my fellow bloggers. How else do you explain two being Laker Leaders ( Danielle and Kayle), and at least 2 other separate pairings of being in the same club or organization( Danielle also spoke a little bit on that notion of campus friendship in her post). Yea it’s real…Believe the hype. I’ll even do you a favor and give you a shortcut to that Chicken. Noodle. Soup. Thank Me Later.
Till Then I bid Adieu