Crammed in a seat, high above the clouds,
I can’t hear myself think you are snoring so loud.
Actually no one is snoring I totally made that up.
It just sounded good since it rhymed, but guess what? I hate poetry.
I wasn’t going to start A Self Titled Life- Round Two until tomorrow night when I had something more interesting to talk about other than being inside this flying boat, but then things got kind of interesting. I am in the middle section of the plane, in the middle row of seats right by the bathroom. Prime seating, right? Right. Well, it was incredibly quiet until the entire plane (and I am certainly not exaggerating when I say the entire plane) is standing in line to use the bathrooms. No kidding the flight attendants actually had to ask people to sit down because the weight shift in the plane was causing the plane to falter backwards. (I might be lying) ((I’m definitely lying.)) But I am sitting next to the Mickey Mouse parade as they file in and out of the toothpick sized bathrooms. Plus the bathroom on the left side sounds like a fire breathing dragon when the toilet flushes and the right side sounds like a giant man gargling marbles. Very strange.
Update- We’re under the 5 hour mark with exactly… 4 hours and 52 minutes left until we touch down in Rome. Oh yeah, I’m going to Rome! I probably should have mentioned that earlier but well, there is no time like the present! It’s currently 9:04 pm in America and 2:05 am in Rome. OKAY HELLO. I HAVE SOMETHING TO SHARE. When I said there was 4 hours and 52 minutes left I was honestly just spit balling because I didn’t want to turn my monitor back on but I just turned it on to check the time in Rome, and there is actually 4 hours and 52 minutes left. Am I.. a wizard?
Fun fact! If I were to jump out of the plane right now (Mom, take it easy) it would be -47.3 degrees out there. Basically, I would be back in Oswego. I think that is all the sarcasm I can muster up for the time being. I will say that I am excited for three reasons- 1. I am excited to go to Rome because I have never been and I’ve only heard wonderful things. 2. I’m pretty stoked about writing this blog again. and 3. …Wow, I don’t remember what the third thing was. (I do remember what it is but I’ll have to add it in to this blog post at a later time and I’ll explain then.)
By the magic of the internet the next time we talk, I’ll be in Rome but you’ll have not a clue so, no worries, I’ve got you! For real, I’m done now. I’m babbling now which is not fun for anyone. Not for you, your mom, my siblings, my aunts, Obama, Sampson the baby giraffe from the Buffalo zoo, Ellen Degeneres, Bert Macklin FBI Agent, me, or even the guy reading this over my shoulder. (hey hey) Literally, no one.
ON THAT NOTE. Catch you in Rome!
I HAVE CAUGHT YOU IN ROME. It’s 2:16 pm here and 9:16 am there. The weather is kind of rainy but it’s not snowing so I have nothing to complain about. We walked around some of the neighborhoods by the hotel and this place is straight out of a movie. A movie besides The Lizzie McGuire Movie where she goes to Rome. It’s like ancient but not. We went to this really cool basilica and it was immaculate inside. That’s coming from someone who 1. Doesn’t like churches and 2. Finds art rather boring. This however, was stunning. I’ve never seen anything like it in my life. At the top of the dome cement ceiling is this window that looks like the universe and it was pretty amazing. The Universe and I are pretty close after all. Depending on the rain we might go get pizza and go to a gelato place that has over 150 flavors. ALSO I had pasta for lunch and the sauce tasted just like my grandmother’s. I asked to speak to MaryAnn but the waiter didn’t speak english.
YO, I didn’t forget to tell you what I couldn’t write earlier. The guy sitting next to me, well more accurately on top of me for the entire flight was reading over my shoulder as I typed. He stopped when I called him out a little later in the blog. Anyways, on the other side of him was his girlfriend and the two of them were canoodling the entire plane ride. For anyone who doesn’t know what canoodling is, it’s when people are so infatuated with each other that they forget other humans can see their every move. They were gross and he kept jabbing me in the side and hitting me with his blanket. The moral of the story here is don’t canoodle on a plane. Be in love somewhere else thats not next to me. Because maybe you could not.
We got to Rome around 7:30 this morning and after walking around until 2 pm went to the hotel to sleep. After a four hour nap I woke up feeling like a new human. It kind of stopped raining (just a slight drizzle) so we went to the pizzeria and gelato shop. There’s a scene from The Fault In Our Stars where Augustus tells Hazel that if the risotto he was eating was a person he would take it to Vegas and marry it. I have never felt so connected with Augustus Waters. The Pizza was unlike anything I have ever eaten. It was so fresh and so good and so delicious that any pizza from here on out that I ever eat will be nothing but a disappointment. And the gelato? I will be getting a divorce from the pizza to marry the gelato. Wow. Just, WOW. GAME CHANGER.
This was kind of an odd day because it’s really been Saturday and Sunday. But my first novel is finished now. There’s some exciting adventures tomorrow based on the weather. But before I go, for any concerned family members I will give you a brief update:
1. I am not in prison.
2. I am not married.
3. I am still not in prison.
Current Jam- ‘Reflection’ by Fifth Harmony. I definitely jammed on the plane and the entire album is stellar.