Enough with all the jostling and posturing. We don’t have to just act posh and frumpy for the sake of such. It IS ok to just “be”. Why front for? Why put on a fake smile and act? You only wasting your time and energy.
“I mustn’t come out there as everyone’s mate and schmooze, that’s nauseating” – Ricky Gervais
SOMEtimes… sometimes
“In high school, I had this black composition notebook where I used to write down a list of goals: weekly goals, monthly ones, yearly ones, and one for my whole life. In there I had: get a record deal; have a number one song; have a platinum album; get a shoe line and clothing line; invent a dance everyone would do; get my mom out the hood; even little things like get a real watch or do all my homework. One day, I left the notebook in class and this dude found it. He read it out loud in front of everybody when I wasn’t there, trying to embarrass me. Mark my words, a year later, everything in that book had come true. I got the last laugh
-Soulja Boy
( You might not like all of his music ,maybe he’s wack to you. But he DID get the last laugh on those class mates..there’s no denying that. NONE)
A real man should never be narrow minded because it belittles him as a person
– Jay Merrill
I can tell that a lot of my posts are going to center around the theme of love. I can just smell it. Just finished watching this Oprah interview with Piers Morgan and she just kept mentioning it. It almost seems like affirmation for me. Now I don’t mean love in the normal fluffy, soapy way. I’m going to leave that for the heart renegades and Lifetime watchers.
It’s just I feel for some reason it’s a recurring theme in my life and what’s around me. Love for Life (my favorite), a Love to Learn (the reason for MY existence), a Love to become the best at whatever the endeavor. Love just feels right this time around. I think there are more loves than the type people usually write poetry about and that’s what I’m currently obsessed with exploring and experiencing. Maybe love is about enjoying the moment. Perhaps love is what would be used quantify happiness, who knows I’m not so sure. I’ll worry about definitions some other time. What’s important now is to just “be”.
– More than a Valentine.
This-Right-Here-Is -MY
#SWAG!
Sorry, readers. I know that I haven’t written in a long time, but I have been very busy. My sister is moving to Connecticut for work, so I have been spending a lot of time with her because I need to be with her son while she is away for interviews, and on top of that, I have been taking Safe Schools Healthy Students online, which has been a pain. For a class that offers absolutely no credit, there are a lot of demands that I don’t think are fair, but, hey, I need to get that certification, don’t I? It is definitely important; I just wish that it offered credit, but no, not even one.
Not writing in so long has offered opportunities for a lot to happen, though, and therefore, a lot to write about. The break has been relatively mundane, unfortunately. I am at a point in my life in which I feel really stuck. I honestly don’t want to be in college; I want life to start, and I don’t want to spend any more time at home (a word that I am forced to use very loosely nowadays). I want to live with Ray. Luckily, Oswego will afford that opportunity, which is why I am so excited for Sunday.
I am so tired of feeling trapped and held down. If I want to go somewhere, for example, I have to hunt down someone to transport me because I have no vehicle; I don’t even have a license, because I have parents who don’t provide the necessary resources, and I don’t have the money. It honestly really annoys me whenever someone reacts to my saying that I don’t drive. People take their driving ability for granted, because they had resources, namely their parents. I don’t have that and never did.
Additionally, within the small amount of time that I have spent with my parents this break, my mother keeps pushing me to look for work, something in which I can’t say I’m very interested. I have a job; it’s called college, and even that involves a paid job. Don’t get me wrong; I like money, and ultimately, I do need a supply of it, but I would go insane if I went to college for nine months and then came home to a job. I do need a break. Plus, if I were to have a job over the summer, I would never see Ray because I would be working. I don’t think that it should be expected that someone have a job while he or she is in college; college is his or her job, and it’s probably far more demanding than any paid job would be.
This past semester, for example, I made the Dean’s List, and that was far from easy. It took my soul to accomplish that, and I can’t even imagine exhausting that much energy and then not having a break when I come home. I have tried explaining that to her, but she doesn’t seem to understand that I am in college so that I can get a job, not an after-school job that a high school student might have, but something that is going to support a life with Ray and something that I actually want to do.
I don’t mean to be mean or exercise any kind of superiority here, but I do find it necessary to put on the record that she didn’t go to college, so it would be expected that she wouldn’t understand that. My father didn’t, either, and he had to work multiple jobs that, all together, took up a great deal of his life, because that’s what he had to do to support his family. That’s why I’m in college. It’s not only because my choice of profession requires it; it’s also because I don’t want that kind of lifestyle.
Anyway, I am so excited for this weekend. Friday, my favorite show, Fringe, returns, and then Sunday, it’s back to Oswego. Usually, I am not too excited about that because it means back to a stressful lifestyle in which coffee becomes my best friend (as if it isn’t already), and reading for pleasure ceases to exist as a possibility. However, considering the fact that a very large part of the reason that I don’t like being in college is that I am constantly missing Ray, this semester should be much, much better than any so far, and I am so psyched.
The blog I originally read this on said, “does this look like a billionaires house”. Not to me it doesn’t. Then again maybe it should. This is the house that Mark Zuckerbeg is currently residing at in Palo Alto. Zuckerberg has been in Palo Alto for quite sometime now going back to the early days of Facebooks upstart. Not only is it the same area where this reportedly 50 billion-dollar company was first underway it’s also where Facebook headquarters are. Supposedly he stays at this house because it is within walking distance of the said headquarters. I guess that just goes to show you what is higher on his priority list goals & work ethic> vanity and spending thrills. I say that confidently since that’s also his black Acura TSX parked out front. Sometimes you learn the lesson of what makes people successful not in the big interviews they give and best selling book (although those are great too) but in the way they carry themselves.
Since in a lot of ways this feels like the launching pad to a lot of my future success and brilliant endeavors, maybe I should come back to the Blue Apartments at the height of my success.
Then again that Loft in SoHo still sounds irresistible.
-Actions Speak Louder than Words
: “Made with Fresh Milk”
